Food & Beverage Company launches new product

#fake

(just in case... )

Foodd InKhaorporated, a startup in the food & beverages industry, is looking to make its presence felt in the market with the launch of a unique new product. After the success seen by several lemon-based products in the Indian market, the organization has decided to cash in on lemons.

Bik-ram Bijneswala, the head of business development, said about the product, “We have seen everything from toothpastes to shaving creams to detergents, dish wash soaps and even toilet cleaners which claim to be powerful because they contain the power of real lemons. We decided to explore a similar avenue, and came up with our new product – lemons with real lemon power. Others who sell lemons only say that they are selling lemons, but nobody ever mentions that they actually have the power of lemons. So, because of their questionable authenticity, we believe that we have the upper hand in the market. Life has been giving me lemons for very long, but now I finally know how to make the best of it”, explained the MBA from Thomas, Digvijay and Hari Institute of Management and Research.

However, some uncertainties in the minds of people have come to the fore, and these may hinder Foodd Ink.’s business plan. A young Bollywood actress, considered to be more age-appropriate than Rahul Gandhi as the face of Indian youth, has been particularly vocal in her concern about what this product offers to the common man. “All the focus will now be on the nimbu. Because of this, the aam, and as a result the aam insaan, will be neglected. This is surely a sign indicating a bad future for the common public”, she said.

Complex equations

Products made by questionable skill,

Rewarded with toxic sugar-coated pills

Terracotta engineered to crumble

In the fight for survival in the digitized jungle

The conductor comes nowhere close to the notes of the song

As he directs a million confident voices to sing along

Multitudes of malleable, gullible minds

Presented through partly closed blinds

Imagery that may set some thinking wheels in motion

But subjects them to years of pointless devotion

Boundaries to questions, an apparent solution

Concealment to prevent a testing revolution

Building up to the grand finish, the ultimate illusion

Vanity soon vanishing into excessive dilution

No finish but just a new start, just one step up the stair

To a vantage point into a world redefining what’s fair

On the graph, more points plotted in the area of trepidation

Excess data hinders the way to a feasible solution

The influx continues of swarms presenting lofty, overvalued numbers

They know they’re living in a lucid dream, but continue to slumber

The grindstones loaded with inertia, moving apart, continue to turn

Waiting for someone to learn what to learn and how to learn

Pantographs

Dreaming big, they all move in, much of their comfort shunned

As they join the crowds in the city that’s always on the run

In a life defined by just two directions in which one may roam

Many optimistic millions have made this place their home

The pantograph rises and touches the power line above the rake

Breathing life into the lifeline of the city perceived to be forever awake

In the city of money, where excess has struck like a drought

They act as the leveler between the haves and the haves-not

Ageing, plagued by dust and rust and a lack of breathing space

They rush through the urban wasteland, exuding an aura of grace

Nature sends signs that humans really do need to learn

But unperturbed by everything else, the wheels continue to turn

Whether it’s about the journey is just a matter of perception,

But this mundane one is all about reaching the destination

A moment too late, and they’re escaping too fast to reach with a sprint and a leap,

But another set of pantographs comes rolling along in the city that never sleeps

Sailing

The moment dawns when he’s setting off

On a journey he wants to make grand

But somewhere in the back of his mind

Lingers the longing for firm, solid land

He was pegged to be one who would boast,

But as he prepares to let go of the coast,

The vast ocean ahead of him lies,

The challenge, right before his eyes

The journey has begun, the ocean surrounds him,

A cauldron of calm, eternal rage

He feels his shrinking might, for there’s nothing in sight

By which his fears might be assuaged

The novice eventually experiences the strength of the assault

His bruises hurt further by the coarse sea salt

In the midst of it, he realizes with a shudder

That he is sailing without a rudder

Gales and waves toss him around

He has to withstand the attack

There’s nary a helpful sight or sound

And once begun, there’s no going back

His quest for discovery throws up visions wry

As sunrises and sunsets go passing by

He’s surrounded by a sea of hesitation and deterrence

He knows he’s helpless before the force

He wishes to take refuge behind closed doors

Not wanting to be controlled by the crushing currents

He wishes for something to ignite

The wick that will shed some light

And stop hope from being further thinned

Should he stick to his (apparent?) right

To try and put up a fight

Or just be gone with the wind?

Basement penthouse

Yet another day, the story goes on

So many things to ponder and frown upon

I wonder what’s brewing in the cauldron for tomorrow,

If it’s just the smell of more frustration and sorrow

In a topsy-turvy world where truth is stranger than fiction

So much continues to be ravaged by the storms of misdirection

With some compasses pointing to their own egoistic afflictions

Even fairness looks like it’s a victim of the rot

No action, but enough food for thought

Amidst the pushing and shoving and the endless hustle

I try to figure out my place in this jigsaw puzzle

Ideas, thoughts crashing down on me in a deluge

To escape the maze, I’ve got no subterfuge

So I slip into my basement penthouse, my trusted refuge

The weird, wicked ways of the world continue to haunt

Pushing me around on what I think I want

The environs, they just continue to taunt

You think you have a lot, but there’s really nothing to flaunt

At the end of it all, you end up looking gaunt

Confined in my basement penthouse, my trusted retreat

I think is it just a battle based on delusion and deceit

I debate on what would or wouldn’t amount to admitting defeat

My basement penthouse, just a vagary, one of many, which I hope

Will provide some ammunition against what the surroundings hold

My head, six feet under, tries to focus on this uphill task

Not getting waylaid seems like a big thing to ask

Fortitude and logic look like just a futile mask

‘cos you never know what’ll show up, shattering those hasps

Forty two

The alarm went off at 7 A.M. on that Sunday morning. He woke up relaxed after a good night’s sleep. The big day had dawned. Over the last few years, hardly anything else had given him a comparable feeling of satisfaction. He had always gone to great lengths, literally, to prepare for this, and as usual, he was feeling ready and confident. Just about an hour was left. A cool breeze and a few clouds in the sky, just the weather he liked for such an occasion, also added to the feeling of comfort.

However, time, as people realize through experience, is an agent of change. Some significant changes had occurred in his life in the recent past, and his priorities had begun to change. He was not a champion or anything such, but he had quite a few marathons under his belt. He had had enough experience of puffing and panting and sweating it out along the country road dotted with stalls providing water, electrolyte solutions and first aid. But it was now taking a back seat given the circumstances.

Elsewhere, a much younger version of him was also up at 7 A.M., finally opening his eyes to the much-awaited day. He was a newcomer to the rigorous world of marathons, and this was to be his first one. Despite the daunting task he was about to undertake, he looked unfazed and unperturbed. With no experience in this field, he was eager to see how things would shape up, and was enthusiastic to find out firsthand whether forty-two really was the answer to everything, at least for him.

They both left their respective homes for the starting line, thinking of what lay in store for them. As they approached the venue, they saw the starting line, teeming with people. Among the multitudes, they saw a few familiar faces cheering for them. They both went and joined their respective groups, joking around and eagerly waiting for the run to begin. The veteran stretched his legs a bit. This, he had decided, was his swansong. ‘Carpe diem’, he thought. The debutant took a puff of his asthma medication, and was now feeling a bit nervous. Time would tell how he would cope with the loneliness of the long distance runner.

In a few minutes, the marathon was flagged off. Both of them, standing merely a few feet apart, started running. Once they did, they never looked back.

Where do we draw the line?

You’re poor. Then one day, the government suddenly says that you aren’t anymore. So you can officially spend more, and thus have to. Since then, you’ve become still poorer. Then one day, a youth leader visits you to sympathize with you, and consumes the little amount of food you had left with you or a meal which uses up your cash, and makes you even poorer.

Our ministers, too, are poor. They know that the zeros in their paycheck are zeros after all. They are hardworking too, of course- a lot of effort goes into optimizing the usage of the limited resources available to them, such as the few rooms in their accommodation, the few litres of fuel per day, the few attendants etc. available to them. This, of course, is apart from the intense vocal cord activity and the rapid eye movement and the hormone release occurring in the Parliament sessions. This hard work earns them a right to relish the delightfully inexpensive food available conveniently in the Parliament canteen.

In other developments, the government has decided to introduce special coupons valued at Rs. 5 and Re. 1. These coupons will be accepted everywhere in India, and for each coupon, a person gets a chance to consume one extremely generous serving of a concoction of cock-and-bull stories. Ministers say that people have been buying this stuff for so long now, so it’s about time it becomes official. They have also said that whether it can be digested is a different issue altogether, and an independent body will be appointed to look into the matter. Further, considering the current trends among the nation's youth, they plan to consider Kareena Kapoor videos as an acceptable payment.